I am scanning my hundreds of Papers and Policy Documents on my HDD

I have several hundred in various relevant categories plus a burgeoning Amazon Wish List (up to a 1000), a growing Library Thing List, plus my now famous Podcast Public Lecture/Course Material List.

I need to learn how to slow down and read what I have instead of dive bombing into saving the latest find, which are CRUCIAL to my understanding of various impinging factors that affect this monster/baby called Survivor Research; which is so easily typecast, so abnormally configurated. I can savely reckon I have document loads in the hundreds including PhD Theses, (where possible), Working Papers (!! manners and protocol respected) actual published peer reviewed material, Papers, plain vanilla texts of such Philosphers such as Aristotle Montaigne etc as appropriate, pdf downloaded books from favourite sites and Institutions who have Academics worth following up, Course materials from Itunes U and MIT OCW the famous delicious site of MIT a deservingly world class institution. Papers on various problems presented like ’emancipatory’ xxx also serious subjects, serious Research Institutes and Serious and favoured sources of Papers from Favoured Institutions. ( I need to restore pdf collection from world class institution X and get Papers much needed from mega prestigious and international Institution Y for some reason I am not as easeful on Institution Critical Y as I am on Institution X).

All this is needed to answer questions that don’t have easy answers or alas sufficient resources.

What worries me is that I am acutely aware of my Visitors. In the past I had a Dawkins professor on www.govermentalgoalsofgodtv.wordpress.com  now 80,000 hits and my first Institution Institution XXX on today.  I am having to consciously calm down and place my identity OUTSIDE the maelstrom so I stand independent of YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY area and xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx area in terms of approach.

I am NOT at University. It has been 20 years since I was at Essex and longer since I was blessed with LSE External Extra Mural Diploma in Economics. I have friends and family who are academics and we believe in generous overflowing extravangant intellectually rich libraries, an intellectual negotiation of ‘research questions’ if you like. My library reflects my ‘research’ questions which has alerted me to how vulnerable is my IDENTITY meaning I have to stand back from either or sides and maybe take from each side. But know when to dive in and friend someone. When to email a Professor or investigate his her their Research Institute or download yet another Paper that speaks truth to power in my Questions. I need to be wiser than a serpent. I need the cunning to stand back, Know when to be friendly, Know how to NOT dismiss professionals but be acutely aware of but see BEST COME OUT of each situation.

I am aware of key institutions use of survivors or not CLEAVAGE. Key Words OR NOT. POWER or not. I wish I had the range of degrees needed to operate from a position of Knowledge strength instead of gross hindered ignorance. I refuse to put myself down with regard to Institutions. I have my favourites and the most challenging in mind. How i get the education i need AND University again especially Postgraduate I do not know. Research led is my motto. There is so much good out there. But one needs wisdom to negotiate it. 800 total word count today

556 words this document written straight off with no redrafting

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